vixelzzz

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FBSBDFIUEBFIUWBEFIUWBEFUJBFKSDBFSHBF CUTE CHILD IS BEST CHILD <3 

Alrighty now, lets see where to begin... I do suppose that there are several things I need to put out there for future conveniences. First off, let's speak of artsy things. The summer has given me more than enough time to do what I want to do, besides the whole going down to Texas thing for two weeks... but still, I've had a lot of time to try drawing better and improving my skill as well as animations. I soooo wish deviant art would have their own little section for videos, but sadly that isn't going to happen. Anyways, on my YouTube channel, you can see those animations. Here's a link if you'd like to check out the funnier side of me, and any sort of input on how I can improve is very helpful. I'm going to soon try to animate fully, not just what I've been doing... but hopefully around the time I reach 100 subs I can at least do somewhat of a good animation. I'm still figuring things out with that.

Second topic here, I got myself a new laptop... and the little shit keeps giving me the BSOD (for those who don't know, Blue Screen of Death). I'm hoping when it updates to windows 10, things will be better. But there are still the bugs that could mess with the outcome as well. I'm not too much of a fan of new software, though I'm more than likely sure that they've debugged it as much as possible. I'm kinda curious about how it all works as well. I've managed to get SAI on my new computer, as well as a screen recording system and I'm trying my damnedest to get Sony Vegas Pro... I heard that's good for making AMVs and whatnot. Not sure for an animation program though. What I'm using now is the little shit called WMM. It's annoying but it works I do suppose. I'd just like to improve the quality of my work a bit. 

Third topic, which kinda feeds off my first topic... my YouTube group. They're like my family now, and I have to thank them for a lot of ideas I get. I even jokingly call them senpais sometimes.

I suppose I can never stick to a topic anymore, actually... haha... Well I've found happiness that last long, but it does hurt. I hate rules, I hate distance... yes I know, I do in fact sound like a little whiny child. That's exactly how I feel when it comes to this situation... Someone out there knows what I'm feeling... Someone knows the struggles of dating a person practically across the US. You so badly want to be able to just hug them.. to just hold their hand... but you can't...

Before I drag myself too far down the rabbit hole, I'mma switch the topic once more School is starting soon.... I shudder at the thought of that actually... haha... But either way, I won't be so active then given I'm going into my Sophomore year and I don't really know if it's going to be hard on me or not. And I'm really crossing my fingers that I get stuck in a class with at leastone of my friends. I was lucky last year, but this year I have this dreadful, defeating feeling that I won't have anyone I know. My school is full of ignorant asshats as well, so I suppose it's pure torture. Hell, at least I'll have my clubs if all else fails though. I kinda need what few friends I have left to keep me sane in the crowd of idiots... What has today's society become?

If I think there's anything else I need to add, I will... but for now I bid you farewell... It'll be a while before I post journals, since it's not my most favorite thing to do. 

-Vixin

I thought my journal really needed an update so...meh. Depressing journal, you can go away now. Hehe. So anyway, nothing much has really happened. Some stuff's began to blow up between the group, but as usual y it's been settled. I'm more happy than I've ever really been before and it feels nice for once to not always be my sad self. School's been a pain in the ass to say the least, but thankfully I have my computer to welcome me when I get home. The internet is so much better than actual life. So many more things happen that are amazing, and you're not always judged upon appearance. Now don't get me wrong, there are your average haters but that's why I don't get involved with them. 

So I've kinda taken Skype as my favorite thing to do now. It's the only real way I get to talk to people that I can't physically speak to. But either way I am happy with it. Hell, it's better than not being able to talk to them. So that's kind of what I've been doing the past week... Truly falling in love again for the first time in forever is the best feeling... at least in my opinion anyways. Hehe~

Little did I know that school was going to take a turn for the better. Classes are starting to get a bit more interesting, and for some reason I'm more focused. I guess your mood really does effect the way you work in class. Either that, or the teachers at the school are realizing their classes are being and that the kids are just planting their faces on the desks and blocking out the world. Pracically the only class I tend to pay attention in are Art and Theater. That's it. The other classes are boring and I just get far too distracted by things like my sketch book and what not.

Also, while we're on the topic of sketchbooks... I've started a Tumblr. Well, more like revived my old one but you get the point. It's where you can ask any question to any of my pony OCs. (link at the bottom of journal...not that anyone is really gonna check it out though). Anyways, from the ten or so I've done so far, the majority involve Vix and Tox. Tox isn't mine, however. It's really fun to do the ask things, and if I'm given a good idea I'll make it as funny as possible. Most of the ideas do not come from me, but I still love them. They're far more creative then what my mind can think of... ahah. 

Off topic a bit, let me update you on the situation with the feds having my phone. It looks like I'm never getting my old phone back. I've gotten over that since I now have a new phone and all signal was cut from the other one. The other person involved in the report, she got her phone back but apparently not me for some reason. Something just doesn't settle right in my opinion. Liek we both had the exact same stuff on there but apparently mine had more. I don't care what is said, I still believe to my fullest that the person accused of sending the stuff was the one doing it, whether it was him himself or not. Again, it doesn't matter my old phone's gonna be destroyed. My new one (which is a galaxy S3) is so much better than that little pain in the booty. Not that I've stopped being pissed and hating the guy, that is. I'll always have rage towards him, not matter what anyone says or does. 

Yes, I know there's a lot of rambling but this is what happens when I can't be on Skype and have nothign better to do but sit around and ramble to people. I can't even draw. This house is too strict for my liking. I'm gonna be glad when I can move out because it'll be such a releif to get away from the rules and stress. Where to move...that's the question. But I think I already have a place in mind ^-^

So, this has been long and boring so this is where I'll stop. And here's my tumblr as promised. ask-lunar-and-friends.tumblr.c…

There's always that one person you love no matter the circumstances. Things don't always turn out great, and when they don't it's like a weight is crushing you to the point of never being able to regain what was once there. It leaves you with a full mind with an empty body. Your mind swirls off into the sole reason and the black abyss in which your thoughts tend to float. The fear pulls you down and the regret hits you harder than anything, and it leaves you in a state of wondering. The mind tends to prevail on thoughts that seem to fuel your fears in the time where it's not needed. Someone you've loved for so many years, you don't stop loving easily and that's one of the more heartbreaking things that come in the bundle of human emotions. There's no turning back when the heart over rides the most powerful thing in your self. Especially if the whole reason of the swirling vortex of dark thoughts is caused by yourself. Some things phase you, others eat you alive, others don't even make you think twice. The one thing we tend to hate the most is the one that that seems to replace the light and make things fade to darkness. And when you're put down to your lowest state of mind the thoughts and memories begin to surround you...torture you...make you suffer from a past the was once in the highlight of life. There's no going back. And it seems there never will be.